Conan

I'm not the "cry on your shoulder" type. Anyone who knows me could probably count, on one hand, the number of times I've done that. That's all about to change...
Went to the doctor today for a problem I assumed was not serious, but which had become really annoying. A nurse came in and asked what seemed like 100 questions, did a preliminary exam, related some interesting facts about the pollen count, and left with the promise that the Dr. would be right in.
About 10 pages of "Eat, Pray, Love" later, a very pale, very thin man rocking a blonde Conan O'Brien "do" entered the room with his very bony, very cold hand outstretched.
Again, we played 100 questions and he began his exam. He poked and prodded and manipulated instruments, until, satisfied, he turned and began writing feverishly in my file.
As he lay down his pen, he turned in his oversized black leather chair, and palms on knees, returned my diagnosis.
In reverently hushed tones he told me I was old. Yep, that's right ladies, not yet out of my forties and I am officially old. Seems, as we age, the old tear ducts just don't operate as efficiently as they once did, and the annoying redness of my eye is due to nothing more than age. This insult cost me $60.00.
You know, I started the day feeling pretty good. Thanks to my sister's photography skills, and the assistance of my nameless, mostly faceless goddesses, I've lost about 20 pounds and counting. I'm wearing clothes I haven't worn in well over a year, and, today, since I was feeling kinda sassy, I completed my little hippie outfit with a pair of corduroy Chuck Taylors. Trust me, girls, this is not the outfit you want to be working when you find out you are old.
So, now, I'm on my way to the opticians office to purchase a pair of eyeglasses since it seems some old people are completely unable to wear contacts.
I will stop on the way home and pick up a pizza for the boys and a really, really big bottle of wine, for me.
Tomorrow I will begin researching lasik!
I'm not going down without a fight!

© Copyright 2007-2008 Stacye Carroll